New Job

I started work last week for a company called USRES . (Not too exciting, you can see what it is by going to www.usres.com)

I sit at a cubicle all day from 7:30am to 4:30 pm and listen to my ipod and photoshop (crop, sharpen lighten and sometimes slightly color correct) photos of Foreclosed properties in order to make into a PDF for the clients. Making a PDF is easy ... I click "make PDF" and the computer does the rest.

Its slow right now, so there isn't much for me to do. It can be really boring, but there is a young dude who works in the photo department with me sitting in the cubicle next to mine. His hair is bleach blonde and is in a mohawk about 3 inches high. His name is Drew and he seems pretty mellow other than his hair. Not unfriendly, but I haven't really socialized with the coworkers yet. For the first few days I wasnt even sure I was staying, but now that the offer from Pictage has come in and its laughable I have decided to stay here. Pictage may have been more fun (casual dress and photoshopping weddings) but the pay was sad and the shift was going to be 4-midnight and the work was seasonal! NO MORE SEASONAL JOBS!

At least not full time seasonal. I need stability in my life. In a time in my life when men are flakey and I am moving every 6 months and I never see my family, I need something I can count on ... like a paycheck.

I hate to say its all for the cash, but when you live in Cali and you have any kind of debt at all, you gotta find a way to as much coin as you can. I'm hoping that by having a stable form of income I can destress and start to get my life back on track financially. Work on me first, then hopefully everything else will fall into place.

I live in Cali, have a decent job, a cool roomie and I haven't been all that depressed since I have been here. The weather is just nicer here. I still miss my peoples like Sara, Richard, Tom, Brandon ... But Life here has started me on a path toward happiness, I believe anyway.

I have also signed on with a wedding photography company called Bella. Its cool because Its pretty much pick up work when I wanna. As much or as little as I want. And they deal with everything except the actual shooting. All I have to do is shoot the weddding and 3 weeks later get a check. I like that concept. Frees me up to do more creative work on the side if I want. But pick up some work if I just want a check.

I'm hungry ... lunch is in less than an hour. I made Chicken Curry last night for the first time. Its not bad. I think I am going to fill one of my desk drawers with snacks ... Like Granola bars ... and rice cakes ...and PRETZELS!! Yay!

Trying to avoid unhealthy food. . . at least REALLY unhealthy food. Like candy bars, candy in general ... Any suggestions on tasty work snacks would be appreciated. . . I need to start bring my juice and i need to make some deviled eggs for snack time.

We have break for 15mins at 10am and 3pm .. lunch at 12-1pm. I call them snack time. Even though I snack at my desk all day.

A lot going on

So a lot has been happening in the last few months. I mean I have been in California 6 fucking months. . . Life was bound to pick up the pace right??

So I bought a bunny for 20 bucks, it died 5 days later. My fault or not, I was attached to the damned bunny. He was my night time afterwork partner in crime.

Men, they've been a plenty, and unfortunately all the same old flakey assholes pretending to be the knight in shining armor, though some tries less than others. Some were plain as day players who I just couldnt resist. Same old weak Chris, loving any attention I can get my grubby little hands on, but I digress. And I am hoping to be done with that nonsense. Maybe someday I will find myself that respectable man with the fo-hawk and the edgy tats that while rebellioous are some naked chick with here ass bouncing in front of your eyes.


And yes, fuck it, I miss dirty, but not as much as I thought. Fuck him. . . and his devious ways.

So here I am. 6 months from the desert. And moving again. No not out of state. We love Cali and I just got a new, much higher paying job. And much boring, but hey as long as it pays and I don't have to take off my clothes right?

We house hunt every weekend. Gets kinda old and stressful. Specially driving around with Lea, who I love to death, but is like my sister, which you know is by the end pinching me and saying to mom and dad that am pinching her.

Nature of the beast.

So huntington beach, santa ana, and fountain valley. The hinge that our hopes hang upon. How about wishing us some good old fashion luck? A house at last, no more stairs,no more mile away parking. No more 3rd floor heat of climbs. . .

We are siked and hope to make 1 year commitments soon.

If only men were so easy. View the property, apply and wait for the answer. .. though why the fuck I would apply is beyond me. Bitch should be bowing down to me.

And yes and I am LITTLE drunk . . .


Only enough to speak my mind though. First time drunk in over 3 weeks.

My ex thinks I am an alcoholic, but this is the first drink in weeks. And I only have like 3 total tonight. Just because I have a bar and drink on occasion doesn't mean I drink all the time, or much at all. In fact I don't.

Kinda funny though. Especially considering I didn't drink at all till I was 22. I'm 25 now and I have only puked twice due to drunkeness, and Ive never passed out.


The only problems I have are men and well. . . I suppose I have a few.

Went to a party tonight with Lea, her people, not mine. I don't really have too many people here to be honest. A few yea, but mainly I go to work and meet men that are completely wrong for me. Or cant satisfy me. The ones I want unavailable or flakey or just plain liars.

I went to this party and I met there a man named Neil. He was about 31 give or take a year. He wore his hair in that sexy fo-hawk fashion and his smile was the million dollar kind. His tats did not consist of naked woman and his passion for surfing could have brought me to tears. He was not without bad habits, that classic badboy smoking habit that I never seem to shake, and his blatent disinterest in me as a sexual goddess. Still he was friend and kind, and funny. And I was drawn to his charm, try as I might. But alas it was not meant to be. He slipped passed me into the night and I was left slightly buzzed and with only myself to hug.

People splashed in the pool and I reflected on his gorgeous smile and his stories of riding the waves.

I'm much older than that mushy teenager that could cry at the drop of the hat. I no longer beleive that no man would have me. These days I know better. I am less affected by the tiniest of things. But still more affected by the subties.

More and more I see children and get that pit in my stomach. Yes, more and more men discust me, but more and more children melt me. I'm looking for mr right/mr good daddy.

I am looking for my husband and finding no strong candidates. My biological clock is calling and hanging up as it gets impatient, saying, 4 kids before 35? You'd better get fucking started!

Each day I long to quit my job, work from home and for my belly to grow, but from baby, not fat. I want to shop for a crib, and tiny clothes and feel secure in the knowledge that the daddy will take care of us. And know that I can work from the house.

A baby vomit machine, living breaking pooping and screaming ...

How great is that?

Well i wont keep you up. I plan on surfing tomorrow, 2nd time all summer.


I'm a little behind. . .